Interview Questions

1. What is your biggest fear or insecurity, and why?

I fear that I may never be able to find emotional support from my parents again. Ever since they began their divorce, I have slowly detached myself from the family. I got out of the house and sought support from friends. I see my parents as two adults that can financially support me, but not ones that can provide guidance or advice. My fear is that I may not be able to build on that emotional component of my relationship with them, since I have not experience that in so long.

I also fear that since I've detached myself emotionally from my parents, that I may do the same to my other friends. I'm afraid that once I get close to others, I might push them away because of fear to emotionally invest and stay committed in the relationship

2. What makes you most happy?

I do a lot for others, so when I get the time to do something for myself, I feel really happy. One of those things would be dancing in the spotlight. I miss performing and the experience of it all.

At KM auditions this year, Diana asked me, "How does it feel to audition?" I told her that I do not remember because everything I do in that moment becomes a blur to me. When I am put in that spot, everything feels natural and automatic. I do not think of the moves. I just move. My thoughts just move my body and I forget to be self conscious in that moment. When all is done, I can leave feeling alive because I know that I have left everything on the dance floor.

Not Just One Type

Long delay from when I actually planned on blogging about SPOP, but nonetheless, this will be the first, of hopefully many more posts

So the interview process has already begun for this summer’s SPOP. With a record breaking 600+ applications submitted, and only 130 spots to fill, the competition is intense. After conducting a good handful of interviews, you tend to hear a lot of the same answers and tend to repeat your own stories a good dozen times. But when you hear those answers, those ones that show so much depth/personality/history/insight into someone, you are encouraged to believe that there are great individuals out there. Ones that just make you want to see them grow and prosper in this program.

I was talking to my fellow coord, D.Phuong, earlier tonight about the applicants that we really liked. It made me really understand why not everyone on staff is the same person. I always believed that everyone on staff is different and not everyone fits the stereotype of being this loud and crazy staffer that is always on high energy. But when I am actually instrumental in picking how the staff is made up and when I see myself giving “Yes” to two people, who are completely different and have completely different energies & vibes, it’s so obvious that this staff will be a huge spectrum of people. All who can bring great things to the table. All who can be great role models to incoming staffers. All who will be instrumental in making SPOP function this summer.

I can’t wait until the first day of training, when I get to see everyone’s faces; not as applicants, but as staffers.

SPOP 2010 staff, whoever of you it maybe, know that we, the coords, can’t wait to meet you!

First a quickie

.... then I'll elaborate more after finals are over.

Thank you:

Purple year, for welcoming me
Gold year, for supporting me

_____ year, for believing in me

Leh do dis!!

Reflect

This thanksgiving was probably the first weekend at home when I felt most comfortable being at home.

No bickering

No fighting

No desire to leave

I loved it. I wish every time could be this stress free.

The lack of family troubles gave me some clarity and some time to just sit at home and reflect on my own. I'm not usually a homebody, and tend to get pretty restless when I am just sitting around, but I found comfort in having time off for myself.

There's a lot that I am currently struggling with. Some demons of my own that have resurfaced and have manifested a bit this weekend. I'm fighting against them, but I am going to seek some help and guidance with these issues. I want to regain control of them.

I'm doing this for myself. Self efficacy kicking in NOW.

Thriller

Rainy Thoughts

I love the rain. Ever since I was young, I remember being inside and just staring out my fogged up window as the drops hit and soaked the ground below me. This weather most recently reminds me of this summer and the crazy hurricane rain weather that came with being on the East Coast. I remember in DC, the unpredictable downpours that would happen. Even if it was 90+ °F in the morning, the rain would come hard (all pun intended) by 2: 00pm.

Looking back on one of those rainy summer days, there was a time when I was helping out with Mr. Derek's poetry class at WVSA. He asked me to participate in the same writing exercise as the students. It was a sort of free write where we would write about anything, and as he said different words at random intervals, we would have to incorporate the word into our poem. Here was what I wrote:

I hear the rain pouring down
Falling from clouds of gray
hitting on pavements of the same shade
The vibrations hit my ear drum
and rattles like a snare before the break
Slow it down and see every drop
drifting into place
Eveything is serene in this concrete jungle
Oil slicks the ground like it would across my pizza
wetness coats everything like cheese across the slice
and I get hungry everytime I hear that sauce
drip and drop over those lights
Thunder rattles and I count
1, 2, 3, 4 ,5How far away before it comes after me?
Not sure if it can walk, but I'll give it a start
I long to run in this rain
Be bathe in the drops and feel the dew
across my skin, beading on every hair and every inch
soaked in this cool water, refreshing as lemon drops
25 cents can get you a box
Red cartoons bleed their drops
In this rain, their soul is exposed
and all that's washed away leaves
a blank canvas ready for its fresh paint
It'll melt like ice cream on a hot day
dripple all over the drains
and the ninja turtle get a swig
as the water walks down their throat
personification?
yes and the rain will come sliding down too

8:15 am

On campus on a Saturday morning at 8:00 am. Training for COACH starts at 8:30 and I’ll be here until about 5:00pm. Looong Day indeed

I’m no morning person and usually I’m the one to hit snooze about a couple dozen times before I actually get up. Today feels different. Though I did manage to get a couple of snoozes into my morning, I got up first, cleaned up, and made breakfast, still with enough time to still check my emails and take my time getting ready.

Now I’m sitting in a not so hidden part of campus, but away from my usual spots at starbucks or student center. Sunlight is not too bright, but creeping between the trees. There’s serenity on this campus that I’ve never felt before. A calmness that you would never get here, had you not shown up on campus bright and early. No hustle and bustle of people running to their next classes. No sounds of people flyering. No music blaring from tents. No big Greek Letters. None of it. Just the sounds of my laptop keys clicking away as I blog. This calmness is really relaxing and feels like the first break I’ve given myself this whole week. No talking, no interacting with anyone else, no distractions. Just sitting and soaking in my surroundings.

Now time for all day training…